megamintcat:

ryansealcrest:

does it come with butter pillows

is anyone reading that description 

(via temporalmoose)

iamtonysexual:

horus-zahak:

biggggblack:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

image

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

image

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

image

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

image

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.

This post is my life force

note to self: make an audio post of this

(via pizza)

yungterra:

sneaking into the kitchen at 3am like

image

i hope we have some got damn juicy juice boy shit i am thirsty as a mother fucker

(via pizza)

the-arena-ballerina:

neptunain:

christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”

"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"

(via egberts)

jesseplnkmvn:

today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store she was laughing so hard.

(via temporalmoose)

thenoodlebooty:

luigigrivera:

i can’t stop laughting

This was an adventure

thenoodlebooty:

luigigrivera:

i can’t stop laughting

This was an adventure

(via temporalmoose)

bunrobot:

"where do you get so many pictures of dinosaurs skateboarding"image

(via temporalmoose)

video games don’t make us violent, lag does

(via egberts)

simplypotterheads:

I like how all of these 11-17 year olds are just going to school with vampires and werewolves and giant spiders and vicious three-headed dogs in their backyard, yet they need a permission slip with an iron-clad parent/guardian signature to go have a harmless butterbeer at the nearby wizarding village. 

Okay, Hogwarts. Okay.

(via egberts)

hellotailor:

mrv3000:





i’ve probably reblogged this multiple times but by god i’ll do it again.
hellotailor:

mrv3000:





i’ve probably reblogged this multiple times but by god i’ll do it again.

hellotailor:

mrv3000:

i’ve probably reblogged this multiple times but by god i’ll do it again.

(via carry-on-my-wayward-butt)

Q

Anonymous asked:

i had a really bad monday and wound up crying because of some homophobic bullshit i was subjected to. you always manage to cheer me up. could i get a comic maybe? thnx either way. :)

notbadword: